Dear Diary,

Today’s anger meter has been in the red zone.  I talked to my mom today.  We talk just about everyday, sometimes even twice a day about how my dad is doing.  He is still in the hospital recovering from surgery.  He has to “get better” so that they can start chemo to kill all the cancer that still remains inside of him.  It’s funny how you have to get well enough, to then have your whole body poisoned, in order to “cure” you.  But at this point, it is, what it is.

Today was the first day that he could have food after not being allowed to eat for over a week.  This is where things begin to heat up.  The very first meal they brought him consisted of a BEEF filled sandwich of some sort!  My mom and to flag down the nurse and explain to her that they don’t eat red meat (they are not vegan or even vegetarian but haven’t eaten red meat in over 3 years).  She kind of looked at my mom like she was crazy and then said she would bring him something else.  The something else consisted of a cold-cut TURKEY sandwich.  It just keeps getting better and better.  Then when they were discussing what he would like for dinner and breakfast the options seemed a little “off” there too.  They were offering a lot of foods high in sugar.  My mom and to ask again if they were aware that he was also a diabetic?  They said there was no note of that for the staff preparing the meals.  How the FUCK, do you not have note of a DISEASE, that a person has, that is trying to recover??  How can you expect to get someone “well enough” for cancer treatment when you are feeding them the SAME DAMN FOODS that over time, put them in the hospital in the first place????  I just cannot, in my right mind, understand.

I wish I was there.  I wish I could talk one on one with his doctor and try to come to some agreement of what would be best to be feeding him and what isn’t.  I wish I could SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF some of these people.   I understand that they have a lot going on and a lot of people to look after but certain dietary needs should not be over looked in my opinion.

Breathe………….ok.

I am now 37 years old.  Up to this point, I have never really known “what I want to be when I grow up”?  I have always had great jobs and moved up the chain of command pretty successfully at each one.  But none of them were ever my passion.  I have no idea where to even start but I want to do something…… anything….. so that others in similar situations do not have to feel so alone and so angry.  I want to help spread the word about the benefits of a whole foods, plant-based, vegan lifestyle.

I know this is going to be a huge undertaking.  Like I said I have NO IDEA of where to even start.  Should I go back to school?  Should I write a book?  Should I volunteer?  Blog more?  Take an internship?  NO IDEA.  I just know, that if I don’t do SOMETHING I will feel like the loved ones in my life will have had all these struggles and future struggles in vain.  I feel so helpless right now and I can’t spend the rest of my life knowing I didn’t try to do anything.  It saddens me to say that it might be too late for my family, but if I can help others to understand, then it will be worth it.

If anyone reading this, can offer any advice of a field/cause that they feel would be a place to start please comment.  Sometimes it takes a village.  

-a MAD, american, Vegan

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